I hit 1000 views some time this month! How exciting!
Well, today, it became official: I can stay in Japan for another year to work as a teacher, if I so choose. I say it like that because, to be quite honest, the past year has not gone as I would like. It hasn’t been “an amazing experience” and I can’t honestly say I’ve been having “a great time”. I’ve had fun, but I don’t think I’ve gained any worldly knowledge that makes me actually see the world as a better place. Instead, I’ve learnt that not everywhere is like Canada. Not every country, even those that are suppose to be first world, industrial powers, are willing to be open-minded. I’ve learnt just how horrible discrimination can feel, and am sure that what I’ve experienced is only the tip of the ice burg. I’ve been kicked around and bruised, and have absolutely no faith any more in most companies. If I could, I would go home right now.
But, where would that leave me? I’d be back in Canada, my Japanese still too poor to mention on a resume, no money, not enough teaching experience to really give me an advantage when it comes to teacher collage applications, and worst part, I know I would never return to Japan, because I would be leaving with feelings of disgust for the culture in my heart. And really I don’t want that.
I have a one year instructors visa in Japan now, which means I can stay here until May 28th, 2010. This gives me a little less than a year to try make my second year in Japan better than my first. For the time being, I’m accepting that May 2010 will be when I plan to return to Canada, unless my luck here improves and I have more reason to stay than to go. So, I have a few things I’d like to work on in the next year:
☆I don’t want to be moving again at ALL until I move home. Last year, I moved three times in one year, and have no intention to do that again.
☆I’m thinking I want to take social dance lessons here, like learn some Latin dance or something. I need something that will let me meet Japanese people who aren’t horrible Japanese men over 40, who are creepy and gross and I’d be much happier never having to deal with them again.
☆ I’d like my Japanese to improve a lot more, so that when I go back to Canada, I can say I do have a functioning knowledge of Japanese. I figure it will sound good on a resume.
There are other things I’d like to do too, but those are my main three. Really, I just want to meet people that can show me that Japan isn’t filled with horrible businesses that take advantage of foreigners and old people who think that you live to work, instead of working to live. I want to expand my social circle to people in my own neighbourhood, and not have to depend on Tokyo to be the only place I can enjoy myself. I want to acquire new skills that could help me both here and back home. And I want to make myself be the type of person who stands out from a crowd when I do apply to teachers college.
Like I said, this is probably my last year in Japan. I don’t see myself staying and being happy if my situation stays the same. Right now, I’m being paid absolutely nothing, and it’s never going to improve if I stay as an ALT. Of course, a year is both a long and short time. I know a million different things could happen in a year. So everything just feels a lot more open. Right now, I feel a lot better simply knowing that I’m planning with going home in a year in mind. But I don’t want to settle for something worse just to get out of here. I have my list of schools I’d like to go to when I go home, and I don’t want to go to just any old school. If I don’t get into them this year, then fine, I’ll work another year, make some more money, and apply again next year with even more experience than before.
Sometimes, it’s hard to remember I’m just 23, and that I really don’t have to rush things. The reason the sakura blossoms in Japan are so popular is because they see them as a symbol of life – short and delicate. But I feel that one thing a lot of people here forget, and something I know I’m prone for forget quite often, is the reason that they celebrate the sakura blossom season. Yes, it’s short and fleeting, and over far too soon…. But in that short time that the sakura are around, they’re so beautiful, and it’s something you want to enjoy and celebrate every day. You slow down and take the time to enjoy it while it lasts. So… it’s good to remember I do have time to enjoy myself too.